Psalm 139

I am a worrier.  I think I have always been a worrier.  I think I was born worrying.  I don't know how to stop.

 Many of the tasks that I am assigned at work don't take a lot of concentration.  My mind starts to wander and it never fails that I start to worrying and stressing.  Then it just snowballs.  I spend the entire day worrying and by the end of the day my mind is a mess of mush, my stress levels are through the roof and my neck and shoulders are tense.  I finally decided that I needed something else to occupy my mind during the day because I was trying to lower my stress level and I was making myself crazy.  So, I decided that I would try memorizing scripture.  Any time that my mind was not occupied, and I felt myself starting to worry and stress, I just started working on my verse.

For my first verse I chose Psalm 139.  It was a verse that I started memorizing while I was in high school and never finished.  It took me about a month even with the head start, but I do only work three days a week, at least that is my excuse, it is NOT because I am getting old.

Psalm 139 (NIV)

O LORD, you have searched me and 

you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

You perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in - behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee form you presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if i settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me 

and the light will become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for the darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you 

when I was made in the secret place.

when I woven together in the depths of the earth, 

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me 

were written in your book 

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are you thoughts, o God!

How vast the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you

If only you would slay the wicked, Oh God!

Away from me, you blood thirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.  

Search me, oh God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

I really love this passage and it definitely helped keep my stress and worry levels down.  Now that I have finished this one, I am looking for my next passage to work on during the week.  If anyone has any suggestions I welcome them!

It has been a while...

So, it has been a few days since I have updated my blog....What's that you say? Ok, Ok, so it may have been more than a few days. Just a little...

It turned in to a looong winter. It snowed a few times in the southern city that we call home. Now, it wasn't snow like some of my friends who live a bit further north consider snow, but white fell from the sky and it was enough for the airports to call a trace so therefore, snow! We had several freezes, which successfully managed to kill many of the flowers and other green, growing things that live in our part of the country year round. It seemed like we had far more gray cloudy days during this winter than sunny ones. In many ways it was winter in our personal life as well, dealing with financial stresses, family moving away and dreams and desires that, month after month continue to remain unfulfilled.

During this long winter, as you can probably tell, we didn't keep up with our project 365. We had a lot of fun doing it and I love looking back to see all the pictures and remembering what happened during specific weeks or months. After a while we started having such a hard time coming up with creative pictures while being confined to the apartment due to the weather, and the stress of coming up with a new picture every day, along with all of the other stress we were facing, was too much so we decided to give it a break. One day soon I hope to pick the project up again with a few slight modifications. I do miss taking pictures of our life.

But now IT'S SPRING! The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming and the weather is beautiful. The trees have been covering the cars and sidewalk with yellow pollen (ACHOOOO!!) and life is good. Sure, money is still owed us, family is further away than I ever thought they would be and many dreams are still unfulfilled, but spring has also brought a spiritual renewal and hunger in to my life and I know that I can face these issues and they don't have to control my life or my mood. Spring has brought hope. As long as I have God to lead me and my husband to walk with me I can face the uncertainty.

So....with spring has also come a new hobby of sorts, something that makes me smile, something that gives me something positive to focus my energy on, something that I can nurture and take care of, something that makes me happy and gives me a place to escape when life gets overwhelming.

Introducing.......my peaceful escape, my patio garden.




The cheerful little yellow flowers that greet us when we get home.


Table top flowers.


Back patio.


The other half of the back patio.

In a few days, when I have more time I will post some close up pictures of the plants so you can see what makes up my little garden. I also have a few little plants in the house that I think are pretty cute too! (my garden may have gotten out of control!)